Let’s start with a personal question: what kind of phone do you have? An iPhone 6 with its flashy camera? Or maybe you’re more of an Android fan?
Well, maybe after reading this you may want to upgrade to this new model: the NoPhone. It’s a phone that literally does nothing. You can’t make calls, send texts, browse the internet or even take selfies. It’s basically a lump of plastic – and it can be yours for just $5. What a bargain.
While it may look like one big joke, it actually might sound like a pretty good idea. After all, think of everything the NoPhone will free you from: no more data overages, no more worry about finding a charger because your battery’s on 2%, no more overthinking that two-word text you’ve received from a guy you like. Put simply, the NoPhone could change our lives.
Oozing with modern-day satire, the NoPhone says a lot about our society today. For instance, included in with the $10 package is:
- One NoPhone
- One instruction manual (for how not to use it)
- More of your attention
- Real friends
Ouch, thanks, NoPhone. As for what’s not included? Well, the lack of phone is one big issue. Thank the lord that the helpful guys at NoPhone came up with these images to help us better understand the concept:
Feeling like a smart phone that does nothing could be your greatest purchase yet? Or maybe it could be a great gift for a friend who’s always on their phone? Well, there is good news. Much like their competitors, Apple, the NoPhone also offers various models – so you can find the phone that really does it for you. For just $5 you can pick up the NoPhone zero, which is ‘the least advanced phone ever created by mankind.’ (If that doesn’t force you to pre-order one straight away, I don’t know what will…). This one has everything the $10 model has – just no logo. And there’s also a NoPhone SELFIE which just has, uh, a reflective stick-on selfie mirror. Expect to pay $15 for that one.
The comments alone are worth having a skim through. (We’re guessing/hoping that they’re a massive joke, much like the phone itself). While one guy called Martin laments the lack of ‘porn apps’ on the NoPhone, others were a bit more positive about the product:
Pfft, I know what I’m putting on my Christmas list this year.
Enjoyed reading about this smart phone that does nothing? Why not stick around and read some of RiseFeed’s other content, including ‘Extreme Phone Pinching’ Is The Dumbest Craze Yet and People Can Now Rate You On This Terrifying New App.