Boris is at it again. Causing havoc and general hilarity. And the latest victim of his antics? A poor 10-year-old Japanese schoolboy who wanted nothing more than to enjoy a fair and friendly game of football.
Following the incident, Toki Sekiguchi said, “I felt a little bit of pain but it’s OK.”
Is it just me, but does it look strangely like Toki is the one in control of this situation, not Boris?
Because Toki seems to be the one with the ninja grip. Look at him grasping Boris’ arm with a superhuman strength. Note the way his left foot is grounded into the Earth with a practised precision and force. We can’t see Toki’s face here, but if we could I’m sure we would see a look of pure aggressive glee.
You can’t fool us, Toki.
Toki or Boris’ fault argument aside, we would have been disappointed if there hadn’t been any dramatic tackling or minor pain. Love or hate his politics, you can’t deny he’s an absolute buffoon. And it’s these sort of funny Boris Johnson moments that make him everything we expect him to be and more.
Remember this time in 2006 when he floored Maurizio Gaudino in a celebrity football match?
I’m sure that Gaudino saw it as classic Boris banter. Even though he looked like he was going in for the kill. I wonder how he felt seeing a mass of blonde matted hair hurtling towards him. I’m sure he thought that being up against a politician would be a breeze. A breeze of PAIN.
And then there was the time he got stuck on a zipwire at an Olympic screening event.
Being suspended in the air by your crotch waving two British flags in a busy public place with everyone watching is usually not a good look. But Boris embraced it. He waved those flags and he smiled a big smile. Funny Boris Johnson moments don’t get much better than this. I mean, it couldn’t happen to anyone else could it? (Witness the full video in all its cringey greatness here)
The incident even led to a whole blog dedicated to this magical moment:
Then there was that time he fell into a lake
‘Classic’ says a journalist at the scene. ‘Don’t let that spoil the story, please’. Boris later comments: “The water was very refreshing and I thoroughly recommend it.”
And the time when he went cycling round London with Arnie.
And then there was the time he made this impossible trick shot
“I was saving it up. I could have done that any time.”
And this epic speech at the opening of the Shard
“[It’s] like an intergalactic spear. Like the tip of a cocktail stick emerging through the skin of a pickled onion.”
Never change, Boris. Never change.